This time next week I’ll be back in New York and it honestly can’t come at a better time.  I’m increasingly hating where I am at more and more.  And I know I need to just work through the frustration for a few more months and then I’m out of here but I’m weary.  I’m just god damn weary of all of this.  I’m tired of feeling stuck, I’m tired of the constant hazing that goes on in this part of a PhD program, the continuous hardcore edits, getting told repeatedly to make it better, stronger, tighter.  The constant reminders of my past, the person I used to be, the person I moved on from.  It just gets to be too much sometimes.  I can feel myself shutting down, shutting people out, feeling like the life is draining out of you, becoming a shadow of what and who you are.  I just want to sit in Madison Square Park, eat some cheese fries at Shake Shack and be with my friends that I miss so dearly.  View high resolution

This time next week I’ll be back in New York and it honestly can’t come at a better time.  I’m increasingly hating where I am at more and more.  And I know I need to just work through the frustration for a few more months and then I’m out of here but I’m weary.  I’m just god damn weary of all of this.  I’m tired of feeling stuck, I’m tired of the constant hazing that goes on in this part of a PhD program, the continuous hardcore edits, getting told repeatedly to make it better, stronger, tighter.  The constant reminders of my past, the person I used to be, the person I moved on from.  It just gets to be too much sometimes.  I can feel myself shutting down, shutting people out, feeling like the life is draining out of you, becoming a shadow of what and who you are.  I just want to sit in Madison Square Park, eat some cheese fries at Shake Shack and be with my friends that I miss so dearly. 

Notes

  1. dignityindiscomfort posted this